I just overheard some young lads on the bus on their way to school. One was asking his friend for 5p. Repeatedly. It was the first thing he said when he saw his friend which made me think this is a habit. I don’t think a bullying one. But also not really a welcomed one as his friend kept changing the subject, pretending to be distracted by his phone, etc. And it worked. The friend gave up eventually.
Earlier this week I was coaching a client who’s struggling with some family relationships where there’s unwelcome behaviour that’s being repeated over, and over. It’s causing upset & frustration in the recipients so I helped him think about what he could do to make it stop.
Both of these situations highlighted a massive learning that I’ve gathered somewhere along the journey of my life – you can’t MAKE other people change their behaviour but you can stop, think about what’s going on and CHOOSE how you respond, change your behaviour. Michael Jackson was right – if you’re gonna make that change it starts with the man in the mirror!
If we keep doing the same stuff we get the same results.
Want different interactions with people?
Change what you do. Change how you do it.